What hydrocephalus has taught me

Hydrocephalus has taught me and my family physical, emotional, and financial hardships, disappointment, and heartache.  Lots of heartache.  But it has taught us so much more than that.

Sometimes I look at my son and wonder if he will resent me because he had to grow up a little faster and has had a harder life than most kids his age.  But then I realized that having a mother with a chronic medical condition has been a blessing to him.  He is one of the most caring, empathetic kids I have ever met.  Also he is very accepting of everyone.  He is not afraid of other kids that may look or act different than him.  Instead he wants to know how he can help them.  Every time he finds money on the ground or around the house he hands it to me and says to give it to hydrocephalus research because he wants everyone to be cured of it.    He tells me all the time that he wants me and all my hydro friends to never have surgery again. 

Because I often can barely take care of myself, I had to teach my son early on how to take care of himself.  He can prepare his own breakfast and lunch and knows how to do many chores around the house.  He truly is a great help to me sometimes.  Although it saddens me that he needs to have so much responsibility at his age, but I know it is good for him.  I think this will make him a great husband someday.

Also I think a lot of people try to shelter their kids from disappointment.  Why?  Life is full of disappointments.  My son has learned that from having me as a mother.  I can't even begin to tell you how many plans we had to change or just completely cancel because of my illness.  Sometimes my son gets very frustrated as any child would but most of the time he is understanding.  He is learning that life does not always work out the way we want or plan.

I have seen a significant change in my husband from when we first met.  He now has empathy for others.  (I truly mean EMPATHY not SYMPATHY.  There is a big difference and I firmly believe we need more empathy in this world.)  Whenever my husband hears about a colleague or friend being in the hospital he is one of the first people to visit and offering to help.  Honestly I think he worries about my good friend Stephanie who also has hydro just as much as he worries about me and that pleases me.  Also he has never said "but at least" to me when it comes to this condition.  Instead he acknowledges how difficult the situation is and wants to know how he can help.

Hydrocephalus has taught me so much as well.  Often I think why me and get very frustrated with life and other times I see it as a blessing.  Having it has taught me to be very grateful for everything including the little things in life. People are constantly telling me what I should be thankful for and they really shouldn't. I am probably more thankful than the average person. I cherish each birthday probably more than the average person as well.  I see each new year as an accomplishment for me and it should be celebrated.  Also I don't take anything for granted.

Having this condition has also taught me empathy, kindness, forgiveness and has made me a strong person. All I ever wanted to do in life was be a writer.  All the trauma that I have been going through since the beginning of 2014 finally gave me the courage to write.  Now I have this blog that is hopefully still helping others and has been therapeutic to me.  Whenever I get better, I hope to finish that children's book and then write a novel.  I'm not sure if I would have had the courage to do this a year ago.

Although I don't enjoy having this condition whatsoever, I am not convinced that I would be the same person that I am today if I didn't acquire it at birth.  I may not have met some of the wonderful people that share this affliction with me.  Additionally I may not have seen true caring human nature if it wasn't for some of the medical providers that have crossed my path through the years.

So readers I hope hydrocephalus has now taught you something.  Be kind to others, have empathy, and if you are blessed enough to be healthy then live every day like it's your last.  Life goes by so quickly and is too short.  You all know what I'd be doing if I could-I'd be dancing!  Get out there and dance like no one is watching you.

If this blog has helped you in some way, please share that with me in the comment section. I would love to hear from you.  Helping others with this blog means so much to me and I want to know if it is working.  Thank you for reading!!!